Extremely bummed by the fact that I’ve got no choice but to cut off the cycle of my annual 12DaysOfMichelleA at the 4th year. I did vlog bits and pieces here and there but you’ve been here long enough to know that I never liked to gather everything together and throw it at you like “there, this is what you’re getting” because as much as I don’t like to disappoint (if anybody actually cares if I post/update the snippets of my life), I’d still like to give my best.
I make sure to care for my YouTube schedule taking extra note that I should at least have something (one thing) of which schedule I have kept up with just so I don’t fail you or myself therefore neglecting what or where I started at – blogging. I almost went completely away from it because I lost the photos to my 20th birthday celebration causing the draft to rot in the archives, but I’ll keep looking for that memory card. I promise. It felt like I couldn’t move on if I don’t get that post up so I put my blog altogether on hold, which I shouldn’t have because now I’m struggling to catch up.
Having a horrible day got me thinking.
Work after work, so much so I don’t know how to take time to do nothing anymore. It’s not a joke when I say I’m busy, so busy I don’t have time to reply to messages from my friends, so busy I don’t have time to stop moving (even waiting at the traffic feels like I’m wasting years of my life), so busy I don’t have actual spare time for anyone, so busy I forgot how to live.
I need not keep myself busy to numb myself from any pain, I need not keep myself busy to forget any sad memories, I need not keep myself busy for anything, except money – for a well prepared better future. But let me tell you, I’m just keeping myself unhappy without knowing what I’m actually doing to myself; too many people get way too concern about their future, they forgot to live in the “now” – which is exactly what I’m talking about.
This is so not worth it.
P.S. Thank you for sticking around, again.