I Miss, But I Don’t Want To Go Back

November 7, 2015

Ten years ago, I met this boy. Slightly over eight years ago, we chanced upon one another and things started to blossom. Seven years ago, our intense friendship ended. Three years ago I blogged about the misery it has caused me. Today, it still hurts a little.

I remembered almost everything from when we were the best of friends to when things fell apart. We had the “forever kind of feeling” that apparently only lasted a year for him, and lasted so many years for me – clearly we didn’t know what “forever” is because look at me now – that was a hella long lived infatuation or should I say, we only want things we can’t have.

Keeping in mind that none of my relationships lasted more than 2 months at that time and, we never got or tried to be together. So, that was something.

Now I’m living my life without him, I turn back and saw him, saw what we used to be, I cried, I missed, I turn to what’s left, I saw our friends, I still cry and miss, I turn to what’s right, I saw his new friends – my classmates, I missed and cried, then I look what’s infront of me, I saw the new him and I’m glad we’re over. We still talk, but no, we don’t contact anymore.

Before I put this to an end in my head, allow me to have the last moment to miss with sorrow; sunset at East Coast Park on 27 June 2009 6:27PM. I’m not psychotic. It was important. And yes, he was one of the two friends I told many about staying up for 5 days straight, having phone conference to play MapleStory. Watching Incredible Tales together via phone call. Introduced me The Fray, whose concert I went to with someone else because an old friend (whom I’m still good friends with, who attended my birthday heh) gave me tickets to.

November 2015, I don’t know where he has gone, don’t want to know and do not care because from what I remembered, he became someone whom I wouldn’t even take a second look at. “Remember when you said no ____, no whatever, just friends?” as quoted from my old blog from three years ago Yeah. No pigs, no whatever, not even friends.

Goodbye. But thank you, it was fun while it lasted. May sunsets and our songs haunt you for the rest of your life.

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